#1

I appreciate friendships. I really do. The I don't know how to show it. I don't know how to keep catching up with my friends who I no longer see in school or uni or anywhere else. Because I'm not the type of person who calls/message my friends very to catch up with their life. I'll feel clingy, and annoying. But I do want to know about their lives.

Sometimes I get jealous when my friends have other friends who they tell stories to, and hangout with. When they acknowledge their other friend as a keeper. Haha, now I sound pathetic.

Okay, just to make it clear, I do have friends. In fact, lots of them. I still keep in touch with my friends from school, foundation, friends that I meet along the way. But if you ask me who's my best friend, who is that one person that I can always rely on anytime I need her, who is the person I would tag or will tag me when there's a tag-your-bestfriend-and-win competition online, who's gonna be my bridesmaid, I just can't name one. My friends have their own best friends. I'll always be the second choice. Or third. Or I don't know at which rank I am.

I'd once told this to one of my friend. And he said it's just my feeling. I am blessed with a lot of friends, I should be grateful. There are cliques in my uni, and I can get along with most of them. I have lunch with this group of people, study with another one, and have dinner with another bunch of people. Not everyone can do that. Yes, I admit it. I am easy-to-get-along kind of person. But it usually ends there. When I'm right in front of them, I exist. But when we don't meet each other, no one bothers to know how am I doing. Thanks to Twitter and Instagram where I sometimes post my daily activities, I hope they remembers me.

I'm not blaming anyone. Not blaming my friends. I have no reason doing that. I myself didn't ask them, what do I expect? But I do have things to tell, and I just thought that it would be great if I have one best friend just for myself. Gosh what exactly am I talking about? This is getting crappier. Okay maybe I'm just in a mess. I better stop now. To my friends, I'm not saying that I don't have friends. I do acknowledge our friendships. And I do appreciate them. And I love all of you :)